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Free humor sayings, quotes and quotations


   If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.
 ~humor sayings by Alan Kay

  Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.
 ~inspirational sayings about Humor quotes by Gordon B. Hinckley

  The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
 ~humor quotes by Douglas Adams

  He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.
 ~famous quotes about Humorous by Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981

  If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
 ~humor sayings by John Kenneth Galbraith, Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went

  Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity.
 ~humor sayings by James Thurber

  Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.
 ~inspirational sayings about Humor quotes by

  The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
 ~humor quotes by Author Unknown

  Today is the last day of some of your life.
 ~famous quotes about Humorous by Author Unknown

  You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything - even poverty - you can survive it
 ~humor sayings by Bill Cosby

  Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
 ~humor sayings by Groucho Marx

  A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.
 ~inspirational sayings about Humor quotes by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

  I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
 ~humor quotes by Elayne Boosler

  I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
 ~famous quotes about Humor by Frank A. Clark

  Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.
 ~humor sayings by Grenville Kleiser

   If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base slump. I just ain't hittin
 ~humor sayings by Yogi Berra

   A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.
 ~good sayings about Happiness by Author Unknown

   The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
 ~humor quotes by Tommy Smothers

   Sport strips away personality, letting the white bone of character shine through. Sport gives players an opportunity to know and test themselves.
 ~motivational quotes about Sports sayings by Rita Mae Brown

   Behavioral psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats.
 ~humor sayings by Dr. Douglas Busch

   I must do something always solves more problems than Something must be done.
 ~humor sayings by Author Unknown

   Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
 ~good sayings about Libraries by Finley Peter Dunne

   Each man carries within him the soul of a poet who died young.
 ~humor quotes by Sainte-Beuve, Portraits littéraires, 1862

   Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
 ~motivational quotes about God sayings by Garth Brooks

   Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram?" Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone
 ~humor sayings by Jan King

   May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live
 ~humor sayings by Robert A. Heinlein

   Hold a true friend with both your hands.
 ~good sayings about Friendship by Nigerian Proverb

   Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then...do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen
 ~humor quotes by Lee Iacocca

   Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.
 ~motivational quotes about Grandparents sayings by Gene Perret

   It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.
 ~humor sayings by Helen Rowland, Violets and Vinegar

   A sensible man will remember that the eyes may be confused in two ways - by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize that the same thing happens to the soul.
 ~humor sayings by Plato

   If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor.
 ~good sayings about Exercise by Christiaan Barnard

   When the designs are chosen with care, tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul.
 ~humor quotes by Michelle Delio

   The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all its meaninglessness.
 ~motivational quotes about Curmudgeons sayings by Martin Esslin

   One may go a long way after one is tired.
 ~humor sayings by French Proverb

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